What Does it Take to be Musically Offensive?

I was having a drink with a friend at a local bar one early evening after work and she was explaining to me how someone had, as she put it, ‘musically offended’ her.  I thought that was a great reaction to a person who I considered had bad taste in music.  What she explained was that it wasn’t necessarily the artist performing the music, but more so the artist who wasn’t really anything but a mouthpiece for someone else’s work.  The artist was, therefore, musically offensive to her because they didn’t produce any of their own material.

In my mind, the musically offensive spans greater territory than that.  I find the musically offensive to be not only the ones who don’t write their own music at all, ever, and continually make the top 100 list on the pop charts, but also, I find the musically offensive to be those people who have been manufactured to some extent and in the public eye because of what they say, do, or look like.  For me to classify one as musically offensive, one would encompass both of these horrendous infractions, or maybe just one of them.

Compare Britney Spears to Amy Winehouse.  They are two completely different types of artists that somehow musically offend me.  They have commonalities in the press that make me want to vomit, but their musical contributions to the industry vary and both don’t offend me in those terms.  One likely candidate offends me in both categories of musical ability, or lack thereof, and image. 

The manufactured Britney Spears and all her troubles have been well followed.  She has remarkable difficulty staying out of the public eye and somehow finds some enjoyment out of it.  I don’t feel at all bad for her.  Not only has she displayed the un-motherly-like behavior to turn the stomachs of all good mothers out there, she’s a horrible entertainer, yet she dominates in the press.  It’s all bad press, too.  Her inability to “lay low” seems to escape her.  She’s got paparazzi following her from one place to the next and encourages them to take pictures and cries when she wants them to go away. 

She used to be cute and was, at one point, the virginal role model for all young teen girls.  Her days as a Disney Mouseketeer made her likeable to many kids and she seemed to transition over to the pop world quite easily.  But with bad music.  This is the other and most important offense.  Her music is, well, offensive.  The lyrical content is lackluster and meaningless (I’ll only give her props for “Toxic” because it’s a good dance song) and she had almost nothing to do with it.  Though songs do well with great arrangements and terrific delivery, she sings them in a childlike voice that is no where near sexy.  It’s whiny and annoying.

So Britney qualifies for the double whammy of musical offensiveness.  Her music is offensive (sans Toxic) and her image is offensive.  What could get her on the straight and narrow?  Cleaning herself up (brush her hair, less makeup), acknowledging her immaturity, staying home, becoming boring so no one would want her picture, find some solitude and work on meaningful music.  Learn how to play the guitar or dabble on the piano.  Get an image consultant and listen to them.  The girl’s a wreck and should crawl away from the public for at least two years and reemerge a new woman.  If she learns something she might be able to pass it on to her teenage mom of a sister.  She’s going to need the help, too, but that’s another story.

Now, in the case of Amy Winehouse, she is one that only musically offends me in her outward presence and demeanor.  Her music is awesome.  Her gravelly vocal tone and mix of jazz and rock styles makes her very unique.  She’s got a distinctive look, with her upswept 50’s style beehive hair and black pencil lined cat shaped eyes.  She’s got a troubled past, which is troubling for someone so young, and her heroine-like figure (chased with bottles of vodka and cocaine) does not make her a role model for many struggling young women artists.  This is the musically offensive part of her personality.  While she’s credited as a singer and a songwriter, her image is what offends me.  I didn’t rush out to buy her CD.  A friend had it and I borrowed.  I put some of her songs on my iPod and that was that.   

Amy Winehouse has a good chance of an early end if she continues her destructive road of drugs and alcohol.  It would be a shame to lose someone who has seemed to create a new niche in music to suddenly disappear.  It reminds me of another gone-too-soon artist that was wise beyond his years and couldn’t escape the horrible world of drugs and alcohol.  I often wonder what things would be like if Kurt Cobain had been able to conquer the demons.  I wonder if Nirvana would still be around today.  I also wonder if we would have even had a Foo Fighters had Cobain not suffered this unkind fate.

What would it take to get Amy Winehouse turned around?  Go to rehab.  She said she didn’t want to, but she needs to.  There’s nothing like an early death to ruin a career.  Approaching 25, Winehouse has already made it big with some great music.  Think of all the years ahead that she has to develop into a more refined musical talent.  If only her image was better.  Bad press sometimes equals spikes in record sales; however, I’m not sure anyone wants to hear about drunken tirades and stints in jail repetitively. 

Advice I’d give to Winehouse and Spears?  Get out of the spotlight.  Hide for a while and do something good.  Stop musically offending me.