Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman

Chuck Klosterman is not just a writer for Spin Magazine; he’s a writer unlike any other. He somehow manages to combine his extreme intelligence and sarcastic humor in order to over-analyze just about every aspect of the world we live in. Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs is a book about… well, nothing really. It’s not directed towards any specific plot or subject. It’s basically a collaboration of Klosterman’s assorted thoughts as it relates to music, television, technology and society today.

When I first started reading the book, I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt about Klosterman’s obscure view of the world, until I came across the “When Harry Met Sally” discussion on page 9, where Klosterman states that, “Every relationship in fundamentally a power struggle, and the individual in power in whoever likes the other person less.” I have to admit, this quote is not hilarious because it’s funny; it’s hilarious because it’s true. From there on, I was intrigued.

Next, he actually devotes an entire chapter to explaining why Billy Joel isn’t considered “cool”. He claims that artists such as Bruce Springsteen were famous because they were “cool”, even though, as he states, “Springsteen has some of the most ridiculous lyrics ever recorded. ‘Just wrap your legs around these velvet rims, and strap your hands across my engines’ is as funny as anything that Tenacious D ever recorded, except Bruce is trying to be deep.”

The next chapter contains a diary of Klosterman’s tour with Paradise City, a Gun N’ Roses tribute band. He actually goes on tour with the band and documents all the highlighted events that occur. This is funny for several reasons, the first being Klosterman’s analysis of life as a cover band and the second being the antics that occur when being on tour. The highlight of the chapter is Klosterman’s tale about the band’s tour bus: “There was a time when Paradise City had a tour bus, but they lost it last summer. This is not a euphemism; they literally can’t find it. It broke down on a trip to Kansas City and they had to leave it in a garage in Missouri to make the club on time. Somehow, they lost the business card of the garage and have never been able to recall its location. Dischner (the singer) tells me this story three times before I realize he’s not joking.” He then goes into details about the band’s show preparation and performances, late-night backstage activities and everything else that goes along with life on the road, but all the while reminding you that these are people who live their life aspiring to be someone else.

Other highlights include his analogies on why Kid Rock hates Radiohead (“Kid Rock likes to mention in his interviews how he hates Radiohead; in one of his videos he actually wipes his arse with toilet paper that has the Radiohead embossed on every issue. In Motley Crue’s biography, Tommy Lee mentions that Pamela Anderson used to ‘crank our favorite band Radiohead’ on their sound system. I have no doubt that Pam told Kid how she and Tommy used to adore OK Computer and it drives him crazy.”), his review of the Dixie Chicks (“I can recall getting several angry phone calls from readers who read my review and thought I was cruel for suggesting the Dixie Chick’s singer Natalie Maines had ‘an oddly shaped body, fleshy cheekbones and weird fashion sense’. It turns out Natalie Maines was pregnant. I am nothing if not under informed.”), as well as his insight on various other subjects including Saved by the Bell, serial killers and pornography.

So, if you’re a spawn of the 80’s and 90’s and enjoy a bit of sarcastic humor mixed with pop culture and interpersonal issues, then be sure to check out Klosterman’s “low culture manifesto”. You’ll be glad you did.